Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
