WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
