it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
