He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
