The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
