no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Randomize
