I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
