This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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