oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
kristin has been a bad kristin
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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