My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
