i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Randomize
