I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
