Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
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