Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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