I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
