operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
