you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
