YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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