Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
