am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
