I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
