Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
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