This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
