She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
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