tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize