she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I am one with the molecules
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I'm always down for nudity.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
