dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
