I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
