Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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