Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
