Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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