Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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