my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
