i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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