i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
