how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
ugly people sure do ruin things
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
