Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
