Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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