apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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