Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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