the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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