DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Randomize
