I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
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