I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
