whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
