He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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