Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
We need to get me chipped asap
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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