I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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