just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
