Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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