Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
